The End of a Friendship

Well, I have had a crazy 2 weeks. A lot of emotional crap has taken place and I'm literally exhausted from it. Last week, my ex boyfriend decided to tell me that my worst fear had come true. From the very beginning of our relationship I was not comfortable w a girl that he had met a few weeks before me in his building. When I heard about her from him it made me uneasy bc I have always found that it is difficult for guys and girls to be just friends. It wasn't until the first time I met her that I really became uncomfortable. I felt a vibe from her that she liked him more than she was letting on and I felt her closeness to him was inappropriate considering I was standing right there. I voiced this to him. He had been told on numerous occasions that I was not comfortable w him hanging out w her alone. I felt she had an agenda. I had seen this before w Ryan. Obviously being a guy, he told me I was seeing things and overreacting. That there was nothing going on w them. I kept her at arms length to keep an eye out. We fought about her a lot. When we broke up, he started hanging out w her a lot and I instantly became angry bc I knew this was part of her deal. She knew he was gonna break up w me and she was only biding her time. All of that came true just like I thought it would. He came to my house Wednesday to tell me they were gonna give dating a try. I obviously laughed in his face and called him an asshole. I give it 3 months. She has never shown her true colors. And she will. She is the very opposite of what he wants and needs in a relationship. I guess men need to learn the hard way. I'm over it. I cried, cried, angry, cried, etc. It's not worth it. I'm better then her and I know that. I'm a better person, I'm smarter, prettier and more stable. I know this. It's his loss. He decided that instead of being the nice guy he always claimed to be, he was gonna be like every douchebag that has gone after booty. So on top of that, later that night, after picking up my grandma from the train station w my roommate, we almost got hit by a drunk driver. It was very scary witness a bad accident. We called 911 and they got the guy to the hospital. It really does put things in perspective. So, after all of that, I had a fantastic weekend w my friends and family. I really needed it. Everyone has been awesome and so supportive. I really have the best people in my life. I'm truly looking forward to the summer. So many wonderfully positive things to look forward to. I'm so ready for what's next. I now know what I don't want in a guy and that is a liar, fake, and weak idiot. I want someone who will fight for me and love me. I deserve that.

I Whip My Hair Back and Forth

Got my hair done today. It's amazing how getting your hair washed and styled can make you feel like a whole new person. I get to debut it for my family this week, since my grandma is coming in town for my cousin's graduation. I am so happy to spend some time with my grandma. I miss her and my mom a lot right now. Nothing makes you feel worse then having your heart stepped on twice in one year. So I really need some ME time w my fam. I am going to have a busy few months coming up, I have plans virtually every weekend which can be really nice but also exhausting. It is good though, gets my mind off of him. Wich is where it needs to be...he isn't worth all of the sad, lonely thoughts that I have. No guy is. I feel like every week that goes by, the more I can look in the mirror and feel a bit better w who I am. I am nowhere near where I was 4 years ago but I think I will be soon. As soon as I can let go and say to myself that I deserve happiness the. I am there. I deserve happiness w someone who will respect my opinions, who won't criticize everything I say or do, someone who won't make me feel like a child. If u know this person, send him my number...I'll be looking for him someday. In the meantime, I'll be starting my MBA studies in August, adding another degree to my list. Got lots to prepare for!

An Apple a Day Does Not keep the Doc Away

Silly me. I was really curious to see what all the fuss was about with regards to online dating, so last night I signed up for E Harmony....big mistake. I recevied 40...yes 40! emails today.....I am promptly deleting the account asap. I didn't pay for it and therefore I cannot see any of the guys pictures....yea yea I know I sound so shallow. But come on whomever tells you that they don't pay attention to looks is LYING! It is not my main focus but I do need to be attracted to them physically.

So that was what I woke up to this morning. The last few weeks have been very weird. I wake up, go to work, come home, make dinner, watch tv, and go to bed. I need to get out of the funky pattern.

I signed up to do yoga on Saturday mornings...when I don't work. Looking forward to that. I still run on weekends to get some kind of exercise. And soon I will be going to the whitewater center once a week so hopefully all of that will keep me busy.

I have some crazy stuff happen lately. Went to the hospital for my stomach and dehydration/exhaustion 2 weeks ago. I have been trying to get back on a healthy diet to gain back some of the weight I lost. Now I don't like hospitals but man was I happy once they gave me fluids and pain meds....i hadn't slept or ate in 5 days and I really felt horrible!

So now that I am officially on the mend, I am ready to dive back in and have some fun. I cannot wait for my best friend to come visit in June. We are taking a fun trip to D.C. and Colonial Williamsburg and I cannot wait!!!

Everybody ready for the weekend? I am....so I can catch some much needed Z'sss

It's not Me, It's You.

I had to break up with my blog last year...just like I was broken up with twice within the last 12 months. I think it is time I take a break from finding Mr. Right and focus on me.

My life has been a dramatic roller coaster for the last year. I am actually quite exhausted. I finally found a job that I like and fit into perfectly. It only took 3 tries. I moved out on my own...well I have 2 roommates...who drive me crazy. And after my ex ended our 3 year ridiculous relationship, I started dating who I thought was a great guy(yea the jury is still out on that one)...that would fit nicely in my screwed up life. Yea that didn't work either. After 6 short months, it was done in his eyes.

So FRESH start!

With that comes a makeup with my blog...and renaming it.

The next few months will be a bit crazy but I think it will be adventurous and I am curious to see where I will end up come Winter.

This is more a therapeutic thing then a boredom thing....I need to write my thoughts down so I can free up my mind...kind of like a Pensieve....Sp? Anyway, that is what this will be. Sometimes my posts will be positive and happy and sometimes they might be a bit angry....its all part of the "letting go" process. And no...I will not be airing my dirty laundry...more of a day to day brief overview...or week to week...cause I don't have enough time to do this every day.

Dream Big or Go Home

There is so much I have planned for the next 2 years. With this new job it will allow me to do a lot more with my life than I had originally planned. I have so many ideas for trips I want to take, money to save for a house (and let me tell you the housing market is so good for someone like me, someone who is a first time buyer). Here is my agenda for the next two years:

- Buy a new car (I have to go used at first because of a new job I wont be able to finance a new car) Hopefully by springtime next year I will own a brand new car.
- Budget myself and open an account separately for a house(I am looking at about a year to maybe a bit more to be able to have enough saved up for a down-payment on either a house or condo)
- Take Ryan to Mardi Gras next year (this isn't necessarily very expensive, flights are pretty good and I have plenty places to stay while we are there)
- Head to Disney World with my 3 besties next May (I want to do one last hurrah for them before we all get too busy with work and marriages and future kids to be able to do this)
- I want to take a few weekend trips to D.C., Philly, and New York (This is definitely doable as I will be on the road a lot towards the end of this year, so I can definitely go away for the weekends

As a bonus I really want to attend the Olympics in London next year...that will depend on what happens this year. So I will keep that in the back of my mind as well.

I have firmly established that I will not be able to attend my graduation in July due to work. I can only take time off and not be paid as my paid holiday starts in September (go figure). So no London trip in July, though maybe Thanksgiving is an option, we will see.

Hopefully my really big priorities will work out in what will definitely be a very busy 2 years.

I feel so professional!!

I have been quiet for a while. I apologize. The reason is, I have been on edge about a job. And well, now I can talk about it! I applied with At&t for a new media sales position and I got the job. I am officially getting my paperwork today and by next week will have signed my life away. I will have 1 weeks training in Charlotte and 4 weeks in Atlanta, Georgia. After that I get to begin this awesome journey making lots of money and meeting some great people. I am hoping to get a new car by the end of my training as I will need it for work.

I was apprehensive about the position at first, but after my interview and then a ride along with one of the sales reps, I feel loads more comfortable about it. I had a lot of questions that were answered and made me feel that I would fit great in this position.

With the company being so big and wide known, I am excited about the idea of growing with such a great company. I could learn so much from this.

Wish me luck on this amazing new journey!!

The Sun and I are best friends again...bless him!

So I have had job progress today...im not gonna go into detail cause I don't want to jinx it. But I have high hopes that Ill be making a lot money very soon.

On another subject, I am trying to decide what to do about my hair. It is long again, but I want it longer, maybe. However as for the color I am a bit conflicted. I like it blond but honestly it was such a hassle to keep it up...I hate spending 75.00 every 2 months to get the roots done...hmmm. So I am either going back to dark brown or I am sticking with the current look which is about 8 different shades or brown, red, and blonde. I am clearly confused :-)

One good thing to look forward to is the gorgeous weather outside. I am going to spend this week laying out in the sunshine with hopes of looking less pasty. It is so obvious that I have been in England that its ridiculous. I look like a cancer patient or albino. It's awful...I need my freckles back pronto! But finally the weather is warming up and there is soo much sunshine, I could tell my friend the sun missed me...he won't leave now :p

March is fast approaching now and I have soo much to look forward to in the next 3 months I just can't wait! I just wish I could tell everyone what it is...but I have been sworn to secrecy so it must be done. I'll just keep you all guessing.

P.S. Driving is so liberating! I have been driving as much as possible and it feels like I never stopped! The only thing I can complain about are the New York drivers here....u people are absolutely ridiculous! NO U CANNOT CUT ME OFF! And get off my tail....other than that it has been perfect!