The End of a Friendship

Well, I have had a crazy 2 weeks. A lot of emotional crap has taken place and I'm literally exhausted from it. Last week, my ex boyfriend decided to tell me that my worst fear had come true. From the very beginning of our relationship I was not comfortable w a girl that he had met a few weeks before me in his building. When I heard about her from him it made me uneasy bc I have always found that it is difficult for guys and girls to be just friends. It wasn't until the first time I met her that I really became uncomfortable. I felt a vibe from her that she liked him more than she was letting on and I felt her closeness to him was inappropriate considering I was standing right there. I voiced this to him. He had been told on numerous occasions that I was not comfortable w him hanging out w her alone. I felt she had an agenda. I had seen this before w Ryan. Obviously being a guy, he told me I was seeing things and overreacting. That there was nothing going on w them. I kept her at arms length to keep an eye out. We fought about her a lot. When we broke up, he started hanging out w her a lot and I instantly became angry bc I knew this was part of her deal. She knew he was gonna break up w me and she was only biding her time. All of that came true just like I thought it would. He came to my house Wednesday to tell me they were gonna give dating a try. I obviously laughed in his face and called him an asshole. I give it 3 months. She has never shown her true colors. And she will. She is the very opposite of what he wants and needs in a relationship. I guess men need to learn the hard way. I'm over it. I cried, cried, angry, cried, etc. It's not worth it. I'm better then her and I know that. I'm a better person, I'm smarter, prettier and more stable. I know this. It's his loss. He decided that instead of being the nice guy he always claimed to be, he was gonna be like every douchebag that has gone after booty. So on top of that, later that night, after picking up my grandma from the train station w my roommate, we almost got hit by a drunk driver. It was very scary witness a bad accident. We called 911 and they got the guy to the hospital. It really does put things in perspective. So, after all of that, I had a fantastic weekend w my friends and family. I really needed it. Everyone has been awesome and so supportive. I really have the best people in my life. I'm truly looking forward to the summer. So many wonderfully positive things to look forward to. I'm so ready for what's next. I now know what I don't want in a guy and that is a liar, fake, and weak idiot. I want someone who will fight for me and love me. I deserve that.

I Whip My Hair Back and Forth

Got my hair done today. It's amazing how getting your hair washed and styled can make you feel like a whole new person. I get to debut it for my family this week, since my grandma is coming in town for my cousin's graduation. I am so happy to spend some time with my grandma. I miss her and my mom a lot right now. Nothing makes you feel worse then having your heart stepped on twice in one year. So I really need some ME time w my fam. I am going to have a busy few months coming up, I have plans virtually every weekend which can be really nice but also exhausting. It is good though, gets my mind off of him. Wich is where it needs to be...he isn't worth all of the sad, lonely thoughts that I have. No guy is. I feel like every week that goes by, the more I can look in the mirror and feel a bit better w who I am. I am nowhere near where I was 4 years ago but I think I will be soon. As soon as I can let go and say to myself that I deserve happiness the. I am there. I deserve happiness w someone who will respect my opinions, who won't criticize everything I say or do, someone who won't make me feel like a child. If u know this person, send him my number...I'll be looking for him someday. In the meantime, I'll be starting my MBA studies in August, adding another degree to my list. Got lots to prepare for!

An Apple a Day Does Not keep the Doc Away

Silly me. I was really curious to see what all the fuss was about with regards to online dating, so last night I signed up for E Harmony....big mistake. I recevied 40...yes 40! emails today.....I am promptly deleting the account asap. I didn't pay for it and therefore I cannot see any of the guys pictures....yea yea I know I sound so shallow. But come on whomever tells you that they don't pay attention to looks is LYING! It is not my main focus but I do need to be attracted to them physically.

So that was what I woke up to this morning. The last few weeks have been very weird. I wake up, go to work, come home, make dinner, watch tv, and go to bed. I need to get out of the funky pattern.

I signed up to do yoga on Saturday mornings...when I don't work. Looking forward to that. I still run on weekends to get some kind of exercise. And soon I will be going to the whitewater center once a week so hopefully all of that will keep me busy.

I have some crazy stuff happen lately. Went to the hospital for my stomach and dehydration/exhaustion 2 weeks ago. I have been trying to get back on a healthy diet to gain back some of the weight I lost. Now I don't like hospitals but man was I happy once they gave me fluids and pain meds....i hadn't slept or ate in 5 days and I really felt horrible!

So now that I am officially on the mend, I am ready to dive back in and have some fun. I cannot wait for my best friend to come visit in June. We are taking a fun trip to D.C. and Colonial Williamsburg and I cannot wait!!!

Everybody ready for the weekend? I am....so I can catch some much needed Z'sss

It's not Me, It's You.

I had to break up with my blog last year...just like I was broken up with twice within the last 12 months. I think it is time I take a break from finding Mr. Right and focus on me.

My life has been a dramatic roller coaster for the last year. I am actually quite exhausted. I finally found a job that I like and fit into perfectly. It only took 3 tries. I moved out on my own...well I have 2 roommates...who drive me crazy. And after my ex ended our 3 year ridiculous relationship, I started dating who I thought was a great guy(yea the jury is still out on that one)...that would fit nicely in my screwed up life. Yea that didn't work either. After 6 short months, it was done in his eyes.

So FRESH start!

With that comes a makeup with my blog...and renaming it.

The next few months will be a bit crazy but I think it will be adventurous and I am curious to see where I will end up come Winter.

This is more a therapeutic thing then a boredom thing....I need to write my thoughts down so I can free up my mind...kind of like a Pensieve....Sp? Anyway, that is what this will be. Sometimes my posts will be positive and happy and sometimes they might be a bit angry....its all part of the "letting go" process. And no...I will not be airing my dirty laundry...more of a day to day brief overview...or week to week...cause I don't have enough time to do this every day.