So I had a bit of a mental breakdown on the phone with Ryan today...this is not out of the ordinary for me when I am thrust into a new environment alone. For one, yes I really miss him and as much as I am trying to keep myself busy, it doesn't get rid of this fact. I really really miss him. I miss his hugs, his words, his humor, and just him.
I am sure he is tired me saying it because he knows. Some days for me are better than others. Some days I am super happy and motivated and then a day like today comes along and I get a little sad. I have a lot to be excited about today...I got my first call back for a job.
I applied for this position just this weekend and I got a call today for a short informative interview. I think it went really well and honestly I have a good feeling I will get the job. It would pay well and I would have the potential to learn a lot. I just hope I get it...
I really want to start working. Ryan wants to come for a visit but I need to start working to show him the US is the place he should be. He kind of knows it...but he needs to be completely convinced and thats the point of a visit. For him to experience it.
Speaking to him on the phone, he gave me a long pep talk and told me to keep my head up that it would work out....all why I sobbed like a baby. I trust that he is right...and I know he is deep down. I am just in denial...and it doesn't help that the monthly black cloud came for a visit today. I wish it would stay away....
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